Sunday, March 30, 2008

Work... I'm back...unfortunately

Went back to work Friday, as my medical leave ended. It's been rough, in many ways. i had 10 days of not-so-much on my feet, now I get leg cramps from standing after 3-4 hours. Everyone has questions, where have I been, What was wrong etc... Thats hard to tell so many people. I told a few friends while i was off to tell everyone before i got back so i could have less to say. But I guess it didn't get around so well.

Infact one of my supervisors only figured as much as I was preggo, because before my leave i was sick and he suspected it morning sickness... and when I came back he asked why i was so down. And another one was on leave for death in her family and same thing, only 1st thing she said to me was "congratulation" which was painful and i broke into tears on the casino floor and she dismissed me for a break.

I guess I have some kind of post traumatic stress issues. For as short of a time as it the loss was/is still hard.

I work with a gal who is quite preggo, maybe 2 months to go? and I have a hard time talking to her now.

One of my crafty friends had a baby on easter sunday, and I was unaware, I just went to hang out and found out she had the baby and I had a hard time at her house, but her new baby is so sweet. It was hard but I stayed and visited as long as I planned to before I knew. We cried a little bit together, I don't know if that was good or bad. She didn't know why right away because all the happenings with her and her new baby she forgot what I went through. I understand. I hope I can still handle going over there to visit. I don't want to see things fall apart because I am a mental case.

Work is hard tho- it should be helpful to keep busy and be around people, but I really don't want to be around anyone but close family.

I wish I could sue someone for this stress!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hang in there- I can say from experience,it will be better in time.
Indygal

Anonymous said...

I read this post several days ago, and I wanted to comment but wasn't sure what to say. I'm still not sure. I wanted to take a second to let you know that I feel very bad for you and S and what you've been through. I'm sure its very difficult. Time heals wounds, I guess. You'll get through it!

Phrank